THE SEVEN YEAR COMPLAINER

Posted on by
1

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence. He’s allowed to say only two words every 7 years. After the first 7 years, the elders bring him in and ask him for his 2 words. “Cold floors,” he says.

They nod and send him away. 7 more years pass and they bring him in for his 2 words. He clears his throat and says, “Bad food.

They nod and send him away. 7 more years pass and they bring him in for his 2 words. “I quit,” he says. “That’s not surprising,” the elders say… “You’ve done nothing but complain since you’ve been here! “

DEATH OF A NAGGING WIFE

Posted on by
Reply

A man and his nagging wife were on vacation in Jerusalem and the wife passed away. The undertaker said, “You can either have your wife shipped home for $5,000 dollars or bury her here for $150 dollars” the man said “I’ll ship her home” the undertaker said “but why? It’s cheaper to bury her here in the holy land” the man said “long ago a man was buried here and he rose from the dead three days later. I just can’t take that chance”

HOW TO MAINTAIN YOUR INSANITY

Posted on by
1

1.   In  the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write  For Marijuana.
2.  Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with  a serious face. 
3.  Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is To  Go.
4.  Sing Along At The Opera. 
5.  Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend
Their Party  Because You have a  headache. 
6.  When  Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot,
Yelling Run  For Your Lives! They’re Loose!    
7. Tell  Your Children Over Dinner, ‘Due To The  Economy,
We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You  Go.           
8.  PICK UP A BOX  OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY,
GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE  FITTING ROOM IS.Â