HOW TO MAINTAIN YOUR INSANITY

1.   In  the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write  For Marijuana.
2.  Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with  a serious face. 
3.  Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is To  Go.
4.  Sing Along At The Opera. 
5.  Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend
Their Party  Because You have a  headache. 
6.  When  Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot,
Yelling Run  For Your Lives! They’re Loose!    
7. Tell  Your Children Over Dinner, ‘Due To The  Economy,
We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You  Go.           
8.  PICK UP A BOX  OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY,
GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE  FITTING ROOM IS.