ALL GIRL BIKER BAR

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

 ‘Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair,

Given that you are blind, that you should know five things: 

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. 

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. 

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke? 

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,

‘No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.

SUBMITTED BY: G. ADAMS

ENGLISH VENTRILOQUIST VISITS WALES

An  English ventriloquist visiting   Wales walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog. He figures he’ll have a little fun, so he says to the taff Taff: (in a panic) ‘The sheep’s a  liar……’

‘Gooday, mind if I talk to your dog?’

Villager: ‘The dog doesn’t talk, you stupid English bastard.’

Ventriloquist: ‘Hello dog, how’s it going mate?’

Dog: ‘Yeah, doin’ all right.’

Taff: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: ‘Is this villager your owner?’ (pointing at the Villager)

Dog: ‘Yep’

Ventriloquist: ‘How does he treat you?’

Dog: ‘Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.’

Taff: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: ‘Mind if I talk to your horse?’

Taff: ‘Uh, the horse doesn’t talk either…I think.’

Ventriloquist: ‘Hey horse, how’s it going?’

Horse: ‘Cool’

Taff: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: ‘Is this your owner?’ (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: ‘Yep’

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: ‘Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.’

Taff: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: ‘Mind if I talk to your sheep?’

SUBMITTED BY : G ADAMS